#58: My Bed Smells like OFF Bug Repellent

So I went to this organic place here in Houston recently and got a sample of Re-Groove-N8 Mist with Green Tea & Aloe spray.  What you're suppose to do with it is lightly spray your bedsheets and pillow case to soothe and calm you as you fall asleep because of all the great organic ingredients in it.  As the lady is telling me all of this, I get really excited so I took the bottle home and sprayed my bed sheets thinking that I'd fall asleep wonderfully and have some of the best sleep ever! 

WRONG.

Once I got settled in my bed that night and shut off my lights, I took a deep breath so I could breathe in all of this calmness that lingered...but then when I did it started reminding me of something...something like...OFF BUG SPRAY!  I felt as if I was camping in my own bed!!  Which just turned my body into full alert, and all I could think of was that I was laying in the woods with a ton of OFF Spray on me to ward off those nasty mosquitoes, and waiting to hear the next set of raccoons coming onto the campgrounds to steal my food. 

My attempt to peacefully sleep was a fail. 

#57: Where do all the Staples go?

I'm at work here, and I'm stapling all of my paperwork away, and it got me to thinking...

I use the stapler a lot, and I also throw a lot of messed up staples away...once it hits the trash can or the floor, where do they go?  Is there a Staple Heaven? Seriously, I know there are many more "corporate" folks like me out there blatantly dismissing the importance of staples, and even at some point, not caring if the staples land in the trash can or not because it doesn't seem like little metal things affect the environment, but do we ever take time out of our busy lives and really think about how important staples are in our existence and who and what it affects?

I mean, it's almost as good as sticky notes.

Stuff that makes you go hmm.

I'm going to start my Staple Foundation...think about it.  Better yet, a "Staple Recognition Day!" There's already a store named Staples...I think you might have heard of it.  I'm looking for grants and sponsorships from them.  If you know someone from there, let me know - I'd appreciate it.  Maybe one day, staples can get the spotlight and recognition it deserves.

Milton's Red Stapler is so last year....

Move over Red Stapler!!!

These bad boys are in!!! STAPLE (with no R because that would change the noun)

#56: I Fear Awkward Silences

When I was younger, my older brother used to tell me, "Thinh, you seem to always talk for the sake of talking!"  And I used to brush it off because I figured that he was so introverted that it could've easily appeared to him that I was always talking. 

Well fast forward to this year, and I've come to realize that I do talk when I shouldn't because I do have a fear of silence, especially awkward silences, and that when that realization takes place, for some reason, I make it even more awkward with my awkward outbursts to kill the silence.  You know what I mean?

I mean, here are some examples:

Scene 1:

Tawn: Hi my name is Tawn.

1: Hi my name is Shawn.

Tawn: So, what do you do?

Shawn: Oh, I do this and that.

Tawn: Cool...um...
Tawn: Cool... so...yea, our names rhymes!  Have you ever thought about the other names that rhymes too, like John and Dawn...

Awkward laugh...

Scene 2:

Person 1: ...yea, and then I worked here for a while, and that's how I got started in the business.

Tawn: Oh, that's nice. Very unique. [silence] Um...so I know you mentioned you did some programming.

Person 1: Yea, I used to.

Tawn: Neat....um....when I was in high school I learned some C++ and I can make a dot move across the page [awkward laugh], that's about it. Yea, I cheated in C++, well, everyone did, we all copied from this smart kid. [awkward..] But yea, I took my Advanced Placement test on it, and I did pretty well for not knowing a lot. I almost passed. 

Person 1: [looks at me like wtf]

I should've just shutup.

Scene 3:

Person 1: Yes, ma'am, I understand your concern.

Tawn: You should understand my concern, I paid you for this stuff, and I expect it to be changed!!

Person 2: Ma'am, we just got it fixed for you.

Tawn: Oh...ok, thanks. [Now I feel bad for being rude]

Tawn: [But since I was already rude...], well, I appreciate it. [this was suppose to be my cue to leave]. 

Person 2: No problem.

Tawn: Um...but I still think it's WACK!

You get the picture... bah.

#55: I'm Really Blind

For some reason, I think my eyes are a lot better than what it really is.  I've realized that I've been telling people that my eyesight is -11 or -12...well, I was WRONG. I just happened to look at my prescription, and I'm -13 ALMOST to -14.

Sigh.

This blog was also inspired by this clip.  The Kollab team had fun with Duy's glasses... would you be my friend if I had these glasses?  Better yet, if I had THICK lens in these glasses.... Terence said he would.  But I bet you that y'all would be making fun of me =(.

Oh yea, and here's the kicker that people LOVE to ask and hear.

People: Hey, Tawn, so how close do you have to get to your alarm clock to actually see it clearly.

Me: I have to be 1 inch close.

People: HAHAHAHA.

Uhh. thanks.  Thanks for making fun of my disability.

#54: Green Phlegm and Kollaboration Auditions

So this weekend was super fun with the exception that I was hacking up green phlegm and had a case of eczema all over especially around my ears and nose. I know, it looks like boogers dried up all over my nose - quite sexy if you ask me.  My nose actually looked like Baxter's (Esme's dog who also had been sick).

Anyway, as for Kollaboration, this weekend we held our live auditions at Soundbox Studios and had a ton of great talent come out.  Good luck to all of those who tried out!

Our staff and the guys over at Soundbox were there from morn til night, but in between breaks we had some fun in the studios... check it out.

This is only one of many silly staff footages that came from this weekend.

#53: Dear Apartment Management - I hate you.

Dear Apartment Management,

I really dislike you and your staff. I hate the fact that it takes anywhere between 3-7 days for you to complete a work order, and the worse part is that I have to remind you everyday - I'm not your mother.  I hate the fact that the walls are so thin and uninsulated that my electricity bill costs my roommate and I approximately $175 per month AND we turn off everything when we leave to work. It doesn't make a gd difference.  Also, I think my neighbor downstairs is abusive to his girlfriend.  I haven't heard any beatings yet, but there are some nasty words coming out of his mouth.

I also hate the fact that you are re-doing the ENTIRE FUCKING PARKING LOT and coning away our parking spaces because whoever designed and created the lot must've been high.  There are cracks everywhere.  I hate the fact that you failed to inform any of the residents of this little project that you're doing, and I think you failed to do the math.  Let's see, if there are 50 parking spaces, and you blocked about 20, that gives you 30.  Ok, let's continue this word problem, if there are 25 apartments and approximately each apartment takes up 2 spaces, that gives you a total of 50 spaces, oh golly gee whiz, 20 cars are going to be shit out of luck!

Dumbass.

So below is what happened when Esme and I got home from an event, I had to remove the damn cones.  But now, it's even worse, they blocked it off with dumpsters and I have to trek back to my apartment.

Shaking my fist,

Tawn

#52: Writing in the tub

**Warning, I was going to go back and change all the grammatical errors and the nonsense that I wrote while writing in the tub, but then that would defeat the whole purpose of me trying to write organically in the tub like Rev Run in "Run's House." Osmosis must've taken something out of me.  Sorry if it doesn't make sense, I re-read it, and it totally didn't make sense. So enjoy.**

Ok, so this post is inspired by the one and only Rev Run. You know, at the end of every episode of Run's House, you see him taking a bubble bath while writing on his Blackberry about whatever revelation(s) he had that day/episode. So with that being said, I'm going to try it.

Although my bath tub is 1/2 his tub, and that my legs have to stick out of the water in order for me somewhat fit and stay warm, I have somewhat attempted to recreate the same scene in order to highten my awareness of my day and try to personally find some revelation for the day.

So here goes:

I really don't know what St. Patrick's day is all about. I wear green to avoid dumbasses who want to pinch you, and I know that a lot of people drink green colored beer and get wasted. But other than that what was the point of this again?

I really can't fathom that at this moment tons of radio waves and whatever wireless waves are surrounding me and making things possible.

Anyway, there's more ponderings that I have but this whole Rev Run re-enactment is NOT fun.

#51: My Day Sucked

Despite the weather being beautiful outside today, my day just sucked.


-Allergic Reaction spreads
-David's Bridal losing my dress AGAIN
-$15 worth of Sacajawea coins given back as change

First off, I accidentally ate Alaskan Crab at my Uncle's House this weekend since I thought that I could eat a bite without having to break out in hives. WRONG. I broke out in hives on Sunday, and I'm sure the sushi joint that I went to eat at on Sunday didn't help either. Boo.


My hives, or whatever it is called looks weird, it looks like a have goosebumps all over my face and neck. It's lovely I might say. Bah, and it continued on today.


Anyway, not only did that happen, the David's Bridal lost my dress again! AGAIN!  Their system is wack and I told the girl that worked there, "You're system is WACK."  And of course, she couldn't help but to giggle at me because I used the word wack.  Ok, yea, it was kinda funny because I was going off on her and then suddenly busted out with the word wack, but still...  without fail, David's Bridal on San Felipe ALWAYS misplace or lose my dress.  They suck, and their system sucks.  Seriously, as much as I go to David's Bridal, I should be getting a free dress because they always mess up on my stuff.


Also, today I went to visit a client of mine, and I thought that there would be an attendant there to make change after I parked since I only had a $20 bill on me...and of course, being that my day is great - there was NO attendant available today, and I had to place the entire bill into the change machine to pay for parking. And with my luck, 15 Sacajawea coins came spitting back out for change. POOO!!!


So with a crappy day, I got really even more annoyed about small things that I normally tolerate in a day.  I tolerate a lot of things on a daily basis, but when you're just pissed, it drives you CRAZY.  I got home from work at a decent hour, took a Benadryl and knocked out after dinner. And now that I'm awake right now, I'm even more annoyed that my goosebumps haven't gone away. 


I know, things could be worse, and there are a lot of people suffering out there, yada yada yada, but still I am irked.  And no, it's not that time of the month.  I'm really just annoyed. It's like people know where to push my buttons on certain days. My pet peeve list isn't long, but dang, people are sure hitting on it.  I just need to chill and go buy me some flowers to smell.  Hopefully I won't be allergic to that too.


Humph!

#50: I found my Twin on America's Next Best Dance Crew!

So Marie mentioned on my Facebook that she found my twin. And by golly, I think she's RIGHT! I'm a bit creeped out by this...

With our short hair, and the fact that our name sounds the same and we're both Vietnamese - I think it is now more believable for people to think that I am from America's Next Best Dance Crew.

Why do I claim myself as part of America's Next Best Dance Crew? It's because my roommate started this trend of pretending I'm someone from ABDC everytime I'm at the club dancing. That's Esme!  She would step away and yell out..."YA!!! She IS from America's Next Best Dance Crew!!" and start pointing at me while people try to figure out what crew I was from.

Now...I can be MORE believable. Check it out!

And here is me tonight...with my performance at Rogue Improv

(turn your head to the left)

#49: Internet Stalking Anonymous

Shutup, you know you do it too.

Of course with the advent of Facebook, LinkdIn, Twitter, Youtube, etc. etc., finding a person's profile is easier than ever.  My coworkers and I do it all the time with clients, and I'm sure our clients do it to us.  But I'll take this conversation outside of using social media as a way to network.

Let me take this to the dating/interest/crush scene.   This is how it normally looks like...

Hey, I'm just saying that's what the conversations usually sound like. And then all of the girls (in my situation) will gather around and put in their 2 cents.

Facebook used for dating and telling crushes you like them

Don't get me started on this.  I was at the Houston Aeros Charity event the other day, and I overheard a groupie talking to her girlfriend and the conversation went something like this. (I will use another name to protect the innocent).

Miss Iam Interesded: Oh my gosh! Pat is SO hot. He totally knows I have a crush on him.  I wrote on his Facebook page before I came here.

Miss Tagalong: Wow.

Me: [thinking in my head] Wow, that is so lame.

And what happens at the end of the night? She leaves with her friend and without the guy.  And the guy is with his teammates acting like, well, like boys.

Anyway, I can't diss too much, I belong to Internet Stalking Anonymous. I Google guys and girls before my friends date them.  You never know about crazies these days!

#48 Marketing FAIL with Woori (worry) Bank in LA

This post is dedicated to my roomate Esme and her Hispanic advertising for Bank of America team atLopez Negrete Advertising Agency.


As we all know, Los Angeles has one of the most diverse communities in the United States.  With that being said, my friends and I stayed in the K-Town area (aka Korea Town) and had the pleasure of roaming around and discovering some marketing FAILS.  See my video below...

I know, I know, English is one of the hardest language to master, and I even have a hard time dealing with it to this day, so I can't blame my Asian counterparts of their mistakes.  BUT what I can do is laugh about it.  Hey, I do it to my Mother all the time... =).  Can that justify something? Ok, maybe not, and I'm just being an asshole about it....but I'm sure many of you all will agree with me.

See Exhibit (video) A:






See Exhibit B (in Little Tokyo):

I don't know what to say about this, but Wah WAHHHH. Lol. I even had to have a friend interpret this for me.

#47: Encounter with the police, AGAIN..in Los Angeles

Back from LA!! Need...sleep...!

Anyway, I can't believe I said this on my past blog, and now it's actually coming true.  My encounter with the cops have been a trending topic each month, and with that being said, I continued to the third month (March) with a third encounter with cops.  Not only are these cops, they are the LAPD! Dun dun dun!

And..there's actually 2 encounters.  The first one is more lighthearted, but as you can see in the freeze frame below, I looked terrified when the cops blew his whistle at me to get down.  Ya, I guess I ain't a gangster with that kind of expression. What a fail.

There's also a really quick video on it too since May (the camera person) didn't realize she was recording me and caught the cops whistle blow and me looking scared at the end.

ENCOUNTER #1: Tawn climbs the lamp posts and gets caught.

Video will be coming soon. YouTube is down.

ENCOUNTER #2: Driving through a LAPD stakeout accidentally. Oops

After the Kollaboration LA afterparty ended, the Kollaboration staff headed back to our hotel in our Red Ford Explorer rentals.  As RG drove home, I think he and the rest of us failed to notice that the road was blocked off.  Suddenly, I heard helicopters above our heads, and because it sounded too close for comfort I looked to my left and I see not one, not two, not three, not four...but about 10-15 cop cars with a row of LAPD all lined up in a row with their guns pointing at the building.

Yes, we might as well ghost ride the entire thing because that's how it felt. The cops saw us and his face did not look too pleased and flashed us with the lights to get the f*ck out!  Right in the middle of a potential cross fire.

And it looked something like this...but think dark and 2am...

VLOG #46: Hip Hop is inspired by Vietnamese & Manny Pacquiao Sings

Here is my vlog on:

1. How Hip Hop is inspired by Vietnamese people






AND


2. How singing on household Magic Mic can really get you to sing on national tv

#44: Video with my blog buddy +Great Boudini Kollab Houston

Yes folks, Ferrell (www.modelonegro.wordpress.com) and I have joined forces this weekend and shot a random video together.  While we are at it...I  want to present Kollab Houston's NEWEST video with the GREAT BOUdini!

Here it is! Laugh away if you must.