#43: Internet Stalk - Parody video Young Money's BEDROCK

Sorry y'all, I haven't updated.  I even did a quick video last night, but didn't have time to upload it.  So today, I'll just go ahead and put this one up for y'all to watch. 

I think it's funny.

#42: Tawn vs. Tawn - My Inner Dialogues: Should I pee or not?

You know you do it too, you have these thoughts that stir up in your head and you end with these inner dialogues going against one another.  A simple example is this thought in one's head:

Should I do it? No, you shouldnt. Now? No, don't do it! Well, if I do it, here's the consequences. NO, don't do it! Fine, I shouldn't do it...

Everyone goes through it right? Yes?  Well, I had this inner conflict take place at my doctor's office today and I literally fought this battle for THIRTY minutes in my head.

Imagine for a second with me will you.  Today, I came into work and drank a LOT of coffee. Then went to my doctor's office for my usual checkup to make sure that I'm a-ok and functioning like a normal person.  As I was there, I asked to use the restroom, and then finally got called into into my room to change into a hospital gown.  Mind you, this is NOT your typical cloth hospital gown, it's the one that you dispose so it is really made out of paper-like Bounty Paper Towel, but in a hospital gown form.  Anyway, I changed into it...and then I realized 2 minutes later that I needed to use the restroom again REALLY bad.

But here's the problem folks....For me to use the bathroom, I had to peak my head outside of the room, look around and make sure there are no males standing around, and then tip toe into the restroom to take a leak.  ALSO, I will not tip toe barefooted into a restroom, I would have to put on my high heel pumps from work and then tip toe there (yea, NOT cute).  If any one of those flaps on my gown accidentally opened, I would be MORTIFIED.  I was wearing a BOUNTY gowns for goodness sake (think of having Paper towels as your outfit) there are no strings to tie!! So the battle kept going back and forth in my head...to leave, or not to leave...to leave..or not to leave, if I leave, am I secured...what if I was secure and then I took a leak and accidentally...anyway, you get the picture.

I fought it for so long alone waiting for the doctor, that I had to turn to my Blackberry and consult a few friends. (Yea, you actually thought I was kidding...I wasn't...these strings of email actually took place).  This is why in every picture you've probably seen, I hold onto my Blackberry for dear life.

Anyway, happy ending. I didn't pee on myself.

Blog #41: Luby's! Random thought on Selena Gomez

This blog is inspired by my Facebook post that got a lot of comments.  Love it or hate it, you know Luby's is the spot for the elderly, the family, and/or anyone who misses school cafeteria food. Yessir.

So with tradition, I started thinking of what I wanted to do for my birthday this year, and it finally dawned on me that I wanted it at Luby's.  Why?  Here's why:

• I'm aging
• It's great to hold birthday parties since the San Felipe location isn't packed on the weekends
• It's a good price for everyone to enjoy
• There's alcohol available
• I want my baked almondine
• I love their service
• I want my party their damnit

Originally, I was going to hold it at McDonald's on Post Oak.  They have a 2nd floor that we can take over, and, plus, I never had my McDonald's Birthday party...but then I thought that it might be way too odd there since we would then have to sneak alcohol in.  Which is no bueno if we get caught, and I don't want to deal with the po-pos.

A great place for my baked fish cravings and broccoli with the gravy/cheese on top...yum.  But to be cooler with my friends, I want to hold it at the San Felipe location where they serve alcohol! YES LUBY'S SERVES ALCOHOL!  Now perhaps my Luby's Haters can come out...if not for the food, then perhaps for the booze. See, I think of others too.

As for where I want to go afterwards...I'm open for suggestions!



Ok, next on the topic agenda - Selena Gomez. Damnit, I hate to admit this, but her song is too catchy and I find myself jamming to it.  Check it out, let me hear your thoughts.  But to balance my like of Selena Gomez and to redeem my musical taste and my overall integrity, I've also been jamming to Amerie's song "Swag Back." Check it out below...this folks will be my rendition of Music Monday (except that it's technically Tuesday now).

Blog #40: Homeless Shopping Cart

Yesterday, I had the chance to hangout with Bibi and Ambar and let me tell you, there were tons of funny moments taking place between 9 til 2.

From me giving really bad advice as to when to appropriately clap for a UFC fighter (leading us to really look like we didn't know what was going on. Actually, to be honest, I didn't know what was going on) to Ambar wanting to UFC elbow some random drunk woman with a loose dog running around to us doing the LeBron James powder/chalk throw motion to each other when we were about to tell a story about someone getting their @ss kicked,  I was with really great company.

The night ended up great with us finding an abandoned shopping cart with a bottle of beer that most likely belonged to the previous owner of the cart and trying to push it to the end of the street...no success.

Making sure there are no contaminated needles before we get in.

C'mon Ambar!  This is when we discovered that the cart wasn't functional.  That's why the homeless person left it there abandoned and alone.

Here's the LeBron Chalk if you don't know it. (see below)

Blog #39: Odd picture and my Midnight Snack

Here is a picture that Tram posted up today.  I'm not going to comment on this, except for the word WEIRD. I still don't understand how his arm can stretch that far unless he is a mutant...are you Homero?!

Anyway, I'm just not going to try and figure out how this picture is made possible...unless Tram somehow grew hairy arms. 

 

Moving on to another topic, I don't know what it is about me, but I've been doing a lot of midnight snacks lately.  Today, I felt like making Cheese and Hot Dogs wrapped in Corn Tortilla after Rogue Improv.  Yes, this is what a grown ass woman does...stick corn tortilla, sliced cheese, and hot dogs in a microwave for thirty seconds and then call it a meal YUM. (What an easy recipe right?!), and NO I did not grab a 40 while I was at it.  Thanks for your faith in me.

Yes...I even put some spices on it to give it more oomph. My cooking repertoire isn't growing the way I'm wanting.  Rather, I think it's actually going backwards!

 

And this, friends, is what I call my glamorous life.  The only thing that I need in my life now is a recording of a laughing studio audience.

Blog #38: Run in with the Cops = I know the Streets. Word? Word.

Obviously, according to my spoof character, Mac Thinh (you can see this on our Kollaboration Houston website by going to www.kollaborationhouston.org), and my monthly run-ins with the cops (ok, so monthly starting as of 2010), I think I've grown to know the "streets" a bit more and now think that I am an expert in it.

Anyway, all kidding aside, I am tapping back into my artsy fartsy mode.  If I get too EMO in person, someone please slap me.

With that being said, I'm starting a new art project that combines my love of Martinis and my hidden appreciation for street art - especially graffiti. It was actually inspired by a coworker who was putting on a bachelorette party for her friend and she decorated Martini Glasses for each of the girls that would be there.  Anyway, it struck me that the association of martini glasses and the association of street art would clash, and of course, I have a love for seeing things that may appear to oppose one another be combined and be worked together. I know you all hate to read everything I write, so if you need me to elaborate just call me up.

Call me silly, but I'm going to try. 

I've always sketched, have done artsy fartsy things, so I have paints and paint markers lying around, and am now trying to figure out the best type of paints that would be appropriate for glass decoration. So below is my first glass - I think I can only do like a few each week since I'm not going to be constantly buying Martini glasses...if you have some you want to donate to me, be my guest.

Plus, I'm left handed, so if anyone have any suggestions for me to not smear anything, let me know too. Unless I develop a skill for writing from right to left.

Blog #37: Valentine's Day Bitterness

Valentine's Day and Lunar New Year fell on the same day this year...thank GOODNESS!  But what happens when small stuff reminds you of how not cool it is to be single?  Check it out.

Ok, for all of y'all who know me, I'm cool with this singledom stuff - if we are looking at my dating historical, my single-ness is an epic...it'll last for a VERY long time. And again, I'm fine with that. But damn, I'm having to justify ways to look at Valentine's Day so that it'll be more in the favor of us single folks...such as

1) I don't have to cook for anyone
2) I don't have to spend money for anyone
3) I can sit on the toilet as long as I want without using the potpourri spray because ain't no one coming up in this room.  And if I felt like it, I don't have to flush! But I do, because I'm clean...I'm just saying if I didn't want to.
4) I can go buy Chocolates the day after V-Day at 90% off and say BOOYA to those who had to pay full price.
5) I didn't have to stand in line anywhere and wait for reservations.


But of course being at home and being around some clueless relatives I get these questions (of course it's all in Vietnamese)

Aunt: Where is your "friend"? (In Vietnamese, they call your significant other your "friend")
Me: I don't have a "friend."
Aunt: (asking as if I didn't hear her right the first time). No, your "FRIEND".
Me: Yes, I don't have a "friend."
Aunt: You know, the person that you're with, your "friend."
Me: Um..like I said...I don't have a "Friend."
Aunt: (made a realization) OOO! Ok, well, you have other "friends" to make as she giggles.
I couldn't help but crack up at this whole little scene.

Cousin: So when are you going to get a husband?
Me: Um, when I have a boyfriend first.
Cousin: Oo...
And the OO's are always the funniest, because they don't know what to say afterwards.

I really think it's cute when people post stuff of what their significant others have done for them on Valentine's Day...but jeez, when it's Feed after Feed...I threw up a little bit in my mouth.


I woke up to Vietnamese Techno on Valentine's Day!  My Mom loves her home theatre and her loudass speakers - which is GREAT...she's a techy kind of woman who now unfortunately learned how to also picture text.  There's nothing that says single when you wake up on your Mother's bed awakened (sp?) by loud Vietnamese Techno music blaring in the living room that talks about how freakin awesome the New Year is.

Below is the video - PS: I sound so pissed..and I sound funny like I'm lisping because I have my retainer in my mouth.

Whoopee.

Blog #36: Mike Acuna - RIP

First, to start out this blog, I have to say Rest In Peace Mike Acuna.  Mike was with us when we started Theta Nu Xi Multicultural Sorority, Inc. at the University of Texas at Austin, and was our Faculty Advisor from day one until the time he passed away.  He will dearly be missed by us and his family.  Tomorrow will be his burial and along with that, our letters will be with him in the casket.

Thank you to Diane and Julissa for going to his viewing and sharing what his family told you two.

Thank you Mike for always being there for us when we needed you - we will be forever thankful for all your encouraging words.  I would always remember our last minute room reservations...how I would hurry up and scurry into your office since you had the "authority" to book rooms faster than any of us could.  Your office was always so serene, with a lot of great historic pictures, and of course statues and figurines of Don Quixote, your favorite literary novel of all time.

You were a great traveler, a student of life, and a believer in humanity and our capability to love...

and for that, thank you.  I will miss you and the random Facebook messages.

Blog #35: On the Road Again

Yes, I am blogging in my bro's car while we drive back to Houston from a long weekend with the family for the New Year.

What do I see? Lots of grass and cows. Yup.

I got some money from my parents, half of which was already spent at the arts and craft store.

Sigh, what am I doing to myself? I'm going to come up with an artist name, nothing lame...maybe like Sharp Cheddar. Yes?

Vlog #34: My Valentine's Day Song

Well Happy pre-Valentine's Day folks!  I'm excited about going home today to Dallas and spend it with my family for the Lunar New Year/Valentine's Day, but before that, I have fallen into that Youtube Singing Bandwagon (inspired by Mack Thinh).

With that being said, this is how I feel about this year's Valentine's Day - Keyshia Cole style.

PS, I am NOT Keyshia Cole nor claim that I am an amazing singer, I just like this song and thought I'd change up my Vlog a bit.

Blog #33: Cops...AGAIN.

After watching Miss Saigon last night, I drove over to Pagoda to grab a few drinks at their Lunar New Year deal...and as I was only TWO blocks away. I see red flashing lights.

GREAT. AGAIN.

Long story short, I got pulled over for not having a front license plate on my car and the cop took FOREVER to give me my ticket. They're usually fast...this fat guy was not. He took his sweet time, and I sat there in my car for about 20 minutes.

Eugh.Then I just got to Pagoda a bit pissed.

Boo....!

At the rate that I'm going, I will be getting pulled over by the cops every month. Call me Miss-T-meanor.

I know, lame.

Blog #32: My fly was down! Think quick.

Steve Azar came to the studios today and performed a few of his songs, and while he was playing "You Don't Know a Thing,"  in our office, I happened to look down and realize that my fly was open. EESH.

Of course, there's only a few of us in the room and I couldn't get up to go to the restroom in the middle of his song, so I just sat there.  BUT, thank goodness I had my pashmina on and re-wrapped it to where it covered the fly. Whew.

Anyway, I did a quick turn around after he was done with his set, and no one noticed. Ta-da! I'm good.

Blog #31: Here here, to all my small busted sisters!

I'm really fed up sometimes with all this big busted women bullshit; morever, I'm fed up with the people who continually justify why and how women should look, and that also includes us women too.  Sure, all women come in different sizes and shapes, and ideally we would all celebrate our bodies and work on them to the perfection in which was designed by God, Allah, the miracle of sperm and egg, or whatever it is that you believe in.

But it's really gotten to a point where women are now looking like cookie cutters of one another, and it's scary!!!  Take for instance Heidi Montag...she fucked herself up. 

 

I don't even know if this is Heidi or Faith Hill. Do you?

Anyway, I digressed...the point of this post is to highlight women that are smaller up top. And although I can write a post on beautiful women of different figures, this one goes out to my small busted sisters because frankly, no one really talks about it. Thanks.

You will also notice that Small Busted women are not really celebrated in the pop/music industry...it applies more to actresses and runway models.  Which makes sense since actors are suppose to imitate reality and models are suppose to enhance the designer's pieces (again, this can be debated, but for the sake of this blog, it won't).

 

The end folks. I stood on my soapbox and wanted to tell you ladies that you are beautiful. Yes yes, I know there's more, but just wanted to get my point across.

Done. Thanks.

Blog #30: Flirting not done right.

True story.

A way to a girl's heart is NOT by picking on her. Picking on her will definitely get her attention, but it will not make her like you or be interested in you. Something this weekend happened to me, and it took me back to the first scene of "He's Just Not That Into You."  Maybe it isn't all on US girls with the issues, maybe it's the boys who also have it messed up at a young age. Perhaps they should re-do that scene again and it should look something like this:

Little Jimmy pushes Little Monica because he likes her, and she goes off crying to her mother, and Little Jimmy's Dad goes up to him and says, "Son, you like her right? Ada boy! Show her who's boss."

So anyway, back to my little story.  (Now, maybe I'm interpreting this all wrong, but this is what it seems like to me and if I did interpret his intentions wrong, my bad - sorry I'm human.)  I'm standing here at a party and I see this guy - not bad looking - but he's just there and I'm mingling with everyone else and I go and grab a few drinks because I have obviously shown up to the party extremely late and everyone is about 2 hours of drinking ahead of me.


If you know me, I usually have 2 things I carry in each of my back pocket. 
1. My Blackberry
2. My camera

I'm chatting and the next thing you know, he takes the string that is hanging out of my back pocket and steals my camera!  Thank goodness there was no brushing of the derriere, but the little girl part of me came out and I squealed, "Give me back my stuff!!!"  And of course, the little boy in him won't let me take back my camera and he had the audacity to make fun of my point and shoot digital camera.  Well hmph. Yes, you did get my attention, and yes, now you are labeled as an asshole in my book.

Below is the trailer for He's Just Not that Into You - I would re-do the first 20 seconds.

Blog #29: My rapping debut, P.P. Boy Band, and J-Free Ribbon Dance

I know, you all were wondering what I was doing last Sunday when I mentioned I was with Kollaboration Houston Filming...where here is one of our videos that was released earlier today.  So far got a lot of good laughs from it, I hope you all enjoy!!!

PS: My Jersey Shore accent was laced in there too.  I'm also hearing that you all want Mac Thinh's Mixtape 0.5...I got you. I got you...LOL.

Blog #28: HEB at 11pm - Not Good Idea

I don't know what I was thinking, but I allowed myself to go to HEB at 11pm yesterday after having eaten a meal at Jack in the Box earlier at 6pm.  NOT a good idea.  I figured since I had a long day after the Harold Workshop with Rogue Improv, and my meeting about a future volunteer opportunity this upcoming summer (this all happened AFTER work), that I still wanted to eat chips and dips.

So the reason behind this was that earlier that day my roommate, Esme, got some badass corporate tickets to the Rockets game and, unfortunately, I couldn't make it due to prior commitments.  Anyway, I LOVE attending basketball games because not only are they fun to watch, I also enjoy a tall glass of brewsky, and my nacho grande.

I was saddened that I couldn't have my fix, so for about 10 minutes (literally) I debated between Taco Cabana or HEB...my mind was like the Little Engine that Could..."Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB?Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB? Taco C or HEB?"

Ok, you get the point.

And then I finally made a decision to go to HEB because I could get a bang for my buck...and unfortunately that translated to this...

 

A half eaten jar of Queso and Chips... =(.

Sigh.

Wait, that's not all, I also dipped my chips into ranch. =(

Had a terrible tummy ache, but thank goodness I slept it off.  Wow, queso is like my new drug.

Blog #27: Help Jenny get married in Costa Rica so her Father can give her away.

 Ok, after that funny/semi-mean blog I wrote, this blog should balance things out.  I know if Jenny wins this, she would be the happiest girl alive.

My wonderful Line Sister, Jennifer Gussman, is getting married this year, but due to unfortunate circumstances her Father is unable to travel to the states to give his daughter away.  Like a true fairytale Jenny's dream is to not only be given away by her Father, but to also have all of her closest friends and family be there to witness her beautiful day with the man she loves.  Please vote for her so she can win $100,000 Ultimate Wedding Contest brought to you by Crate & Barrel. 



Click here to vote!!! >>> http://bit.ly/9OzNo7